HAP Articles

From Playtime to Provocative: How Early Sexualization Affects Kids

Author: Tamara Nausheen

When my 10 year old first told me about ‘crushes’ the girls in her class were having, I was surprised. Admittedly I had been expecting it since most of her friends outside school are slightly older than her and also come from let’s say, differently ‘monitored’ backgrounds, but at the same time I felt a pang to hear my baby girl talk about ‘types’, or ‘drama’ and ‘looks’.

My little girl who was, until last year a tomboy, climbing trees and watching creepy crawlies fascinated and didn’t care if she was burnt to a crisp in the sun recently asked me what a skincare routine was!!! While this is all still normal and innocent, the fact that ‘growing up’ was happening at such an accelerated pace startled me.

So what is creating this environment for our children? While developmentally sexualisation is normal the question is are we growing our children up too fast, and more importantly what does this look like in today’s media-saturated world?

Children are exposed to age-inappropriate and sexualized content at increasingly younger ages. This includes the imposition of adult sexual norms, expectations, or imagery on children before they are developmentally ready. This phenomenon affects both girls and boys, though it often manifests differently across genders and can have lasting psychological consequences.

Sexualization becomes harmful when a child's value is narrowly defined by sexual appeal or behavior, when physical attractiveness is equated with worth, or when sexuality is imposed inappropriately. A comprehensive report by the American Psychological Association (APA, 2007) highlighted that children’s media from music videos and advertising to toys and social media often present distorted messages about sex and body image. Girls are especially vulnerable, frequently portrayed as objects of desire or encouraged to appear "sexy" rather than smart, strong, or kind. Boys, meanwhile, are often exposed to messages that associate masculinity with dominance and emotional detachment, and may also feel pressure to “perform” sexually at a young age.

The psychological toll of early sexualization can be profound. For girls, studies have linked sexualization with body dissatisfaction, low self-esteem, eating disorders, depression, and anxiety. Boys may experience confusion about masculinity, emotional suppression, and risk-taking behavior to conform to sexual expectations. Both genders can develop distorted views of relationships, consent, and personal boundaries. Furthermore, sexualized environments may increase the risk of early sexual activity, exploitation, and sexual abuse.

Children who internalize these messages often struggle with forming a healthy sense of identity. Instead of focusing on interests, creativity, or friendships, they may become preoccupied with their appearance or sexuality, impacting emotional development and academic performance.

But before we blame the social media for this there other influencing factors to consider.

• Advertising and entertainment industries often blur the line between childhood and adulthood. This could be applicable to toys where gender stereotypes are encouraged.
• Peer influence and social circles where older children influence behaviours and thinking of younger children.
• Parental modeling and conversations (or lack thereof) around sex and self-worth influence how children interpret these messages.
• Home environment and societal messages regarding what is considered appropriate gender based behaviour, interests, dressing and choices.

What Can Parents Do?

Parents and caregivers play a crucial role in mitigating the effects of early sexualization. Here’s how they can help:

1. Media Literacy: Teach children to critically evaluate what they see in media. Discuss how ads, movies, and influencers often present unrealistic images or ideas.
2. Open Conversations: Create a safe space for age-appropriate discussions about bodies, boundaries, relationships, and consent. Normalize talking about emotions and self-worth beyond appearance.
3. Limit Exposure: Monitor the content your children consume. Encourage books, shows, and games that promote diverse, empowered representations of boys and girls.
4. Model Values: Demonstrate respect for self and others. Children often absorb how adults talk about their own and others' bodies and relationships.
5. Empower Through Identity: Help children build a strong sense of self based on talents, values, and interests rather than appearance.

So after I had recovered from my initial shock, I began to have regular and consistent conversations with my daughter. No topic was off bounds, but responses were age appropriate. When she asked about periods (because so many of her friends talked about theirs), she was satisfied with a simple answer of ‘our bodies are changing for what is required at later stages in life’. Her eyes glazed over with boredom when I started explaining about linings of the uterus and we moved quickly onto creating a period kit that she could take to school.

When she asked why she couldn’t wear make-up or watch certain shows I explained the importance of rhythm (a concept she’s familiar with because of her Waldorf schooling), and a respect for the natural order and course of things. We can’t force a flower to fruit early, or like you took time to learn to play the piano you need time to other things in life. We also discussed about how there is a right time for everything and how just like she needs to wait a while to vote, she needs to wait for make-up or that just because Nana is old it doesn’t mean he can eat junk food!

As a family we talk about attributes that set each other apart, and are noteworthy. As parents we try and foster a narrative that will become their internal voice. We talk to our kids about kindness, generosity, empathy and also about creating boundaries and insisting others respect them. We also are careful about our behaviour, words and priorities. Do we slip up from time to time? Of course! But that’s ok too.

We know that early sexualization is a complex, deeply embedded cultural issue, but awareness and (hopefully) proactive parenting can make a significant difference.

I’m hoping that by fostering resilience, critical thinking and a steady internal narrative of positive self-worth that isn’t derived from appearances and what is on the outside in my daughter, I will be able to help her create safety and strength for herself and navigate a world that often asks them to grow up too fast.